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Lon Soragnit, 58, and Pimol Sunsri, 49, raped five students aged between seven and eight in the school’s classrooms and at one of the defendant’s homes.

It’s a shocking case of abuse of trust, from people who are supposed to educate children, not molest them.

We know how keen Thai authorities are to ensure the safety of students (usually by forcing foreign teachers to produce their life history before being employed).

Still, now that these predatory teachers are safely behind bars, we anticipate background checks on all Thai teachers.

After all, whenever a foreigner is accused of stealing a packet of crisps from seven-11 a full-scale investigation takes place. Remember the nutter from America who claimed to have killed a young beauty queen, only for the police to insist all the evidence said he hadn’t? He turned up in Thailand and, the minute he was deported, background checks were carried out on teachers’ qualification. The American happened to be perfectly well qualified, as it happened, he was just weird.

Now, the Thai authorities are apparently going to ask for criminal background checks (which seems a lot wiser). There’s little wrong with doing checks, but by the time all the investigations are complete, many good teachers may well have found work in Vietnam or Malaysia.

Jobless handouts for all

We all know that unemployment in the UK has dropped over the past few years. Some may well think that it’s because more people are working, but we of course know better. It’s largely because the government will go to extraordinary lengths not to classify job-shy layabouts as unemployed.

One way around this is to say that they’re ‘incapacitated’. Incapacitated, in this instance, means bone idle.

The Department of Work and Pensions dishes out 70 billion baht a year to folk who suffer from such ailments as ‘tiredness’ and acne.

Officials have to deal with 2,000 folk whose problem is obesity, more than 1,000 have sleep disorders and 50 get cash because they have acne.

So, these folk are fat, lazy and have spots. Surely there’s work for them at Burger King?

Beer, beer everywhere…

Here’s the good news – some beer in the UK is now cheaper than water.

And the bad news – that’s only because water is bloody expensive.

Supermarkets are now filling their shelves with own-brand brew. This is a fair bit cheaper than the fancy bottles of water filled by pixies up in snow-capped Narnia that companies try and flog to gullible health freaks.

Naturally, the idea of cheap beer has outraged health gurus, who moan that it encourages people to drink more.

But surely it’s those that go out and buy water for two-pounds who are the ones losing their minds, not those who just want a cheap drink.

Teacher in Muslim ‘teddy’ row.

English teacher Gillian Gibbons probably didn’t think there was much danger in asking her class to give their teddy bear a name.

But the 54-year-old ended up nearly being flogged after one student suggested the bear be named after himself - Muhammad.

Ordinarily not a problem, but unfortunately Gillian was in Sudan, where the prophet Muhammad is revered. And so it was that a jobsworth secretary went running off to the local zealot, who promptly had Gillian arrested.

Gllian, from Liverpool, was arrested and hauled before a court for inciting religious hatred.

Sudan probably didn’t count on the international outrage that followed, and was soon trying hard to defend its stance. After a visit by some high-profile British figures, they eventually saw sense and released the techer.

There seems little point in pointing out the ridiculousness of the case, but it’s sadly another example of how a Muslim country can make a mockery out of a religion far more than Gillian ever did.

Our favourite person of 2007 has to be Maurice Fox.

Maurice, 77, was booted out of his social club for breaking wind too loudly. Poor old Maurice didn’t go quietly though, and bravely tried to explain himself.

Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in south-west England asking him to step outside whenever nature called, or trumpeted in his case.

Maurice protested: "It's only a little bit of wind -- it doesn't really hurt anyone. I sit by the door anyway and try to get out when I can. But sometimes it takes me by surprise and just pops out.

"I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell." He added the odour had improved vastly since he gave up cider and took to drinking Bass.

As though that wasn’t more than enough information, Maurice wasn’t finished yet.

He was amazed that no-one else had thought to complain at the other club where goes twice a week, but conceded those who had moaned may have a point.

"I do not think it is unreasonable, you get ladies in there," he said.

"The ladies find it a bit rude but the men have a chuckle. My wife died seven years ago and I live on my own so I might have lost a few social graces. But I was surprised to get the letter from the committee."

To add to his troubles not only is his little problem now the talk of Kirkham, but it’s also made international headlines. Bless him.

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