For Love nor Money


Jamie came through the door.
“What was all that noise across road?” asked Barry from behind the counter of his bar.
It was late afternoon and the girls from the various bars were just clocking in for another night’s work. In the go-go bar across the road there had been some shouting and screaming for just a couple of minutes before going back to normal noise levels. Barry had noticed Jamie leaving the bar shortly afterwards.
“You wouldn’t believe it Barry, two of the dancers were going hammer and tongs at each other. Then Jim the owner jumped in and separated them. One of them walked out but the other is still there.” Jamie answered.
For love nor money“Why wouldn’t I believe it Jamie? It’s a common enough occurrence. I’ve seen some good cat fights out in the soi. Which girls were they anyway?” said Barry who knew Jamie was a bit of an expert on the girls across the road.
“Big Suk who walked out and Khung with the long legs is still there, but what you wouldn’t believe is what the fight was about.”
“Go on then Jamie, tell us the whole story.” asked Barry.
“Well they were fighting over a man who wasn’t even there. Now try and guess who that man was.” challenged Jamie.
“Don’t be an idiot Jamie, just tell us who it was.” said Barry who was getting a bit tired of the smug look on Jamie’s face.
“Kiwi Joe! Can you believe that? They were fighting over Kiwi Joe of all people. He must be fifty at least. He’s due in tomorrow and they were fighting over who should go out with him this time.” This came from the bemused Jamie. 
“What do you make of that then Les?” asked Jamie, obviously trying to increase his audience.
I put down my copy of the Bangkok World, deciding that it was time to join in and score some easy points of Jamie. “So fifty must be very old then Jamie. How old are you? Twenty-seven? Twenty-eight?”
“Twenty-five Les, and I mean the girls are in their twenties and they are fighting over a guy twice their age.” answered Jamie.
“So you’re twenty-five Jamie. How many girls on the soi have come to blows over you? Just out of interest you understand.” I said.
“Well none, but a few close calls. I try not to rub any ex-girlfriend’s face in a new one, if you see what I mean.” Jamie answered.
“But Kiwi Joe wasn’t even here and girls were fighting over him. Why do you think that is?” I questioned Jamie.
“It’s probably because he gives the girls too much money Les. He must be like a goldmine to them.”
“Well he’s certainly a generous man, not just to the girls. Then again Jamie I’ve seen you get drunk and hand out purple notes to the dancers and they still aren’t fighting over you, and you’re only twenty-five. Must be something else then, don’t you think?” I asked.
“Well if you are so clever Les, you tell us.” said Jamie who was beginning to get a little red in the face.
“I think that would be worth a beer Jamie. Get in a round and I will give you a lesson on why the girls will fight over someone who’s fifty at least.” My statement got approving nods from the other regulars at the bar.
“Give the old men a beer Barry, and you had better take one for yourself.” said Jamie.
Pouring the new beer I started to explain to Jamie why it was a much older man who had a cat fight going on the day before he arrived. “You see Jamie you have to think about what the bargirls are looking for in a man. You are half right pointing to the financial recompense but I’m sure over a week you would probably spend as much as Kiwi Joe.”
After sipping the beer I continued. “Now we know Joe has broken up with that dancer at Belgium John’s bar and we can guess he said something across the road before he went back to work. We also know Joe tends to keep the same girlfriend for quite a few breaks and that he usually bar-fines them a week at a time. On top of that he will usually take a girl with him for a week in Chiang Mai or Phuket or Hua Hin or suchlike. But most of all we know that he is a genuinely nice guy. The girls feel safe with him and I’m guessing that he isn’t asking them to do the thousand positions of the Kama Sutra every night like some of you younger guys.”
Taking another sip I went on. “You know it’s rare to see him drunk so I guess his girlfriends don’t have the pleasure of him throwing up in the bathroom at night. In fact being that bit older probably makes him more attractive to those dancers. Who knows maybe he’s not that far away from settling down and some lucky girl may get a trip to Auckland or a new house in Bangkapi out of him?”
“Maybe you are right Les.” said Jamie whose face had gone a slightly different shade of red. He had been fairly pissed last night so I suspected the ‘throwing up in the bathroom’ rather than the ‘Kama Sutra’ had been a little too class for comfort.
I finished off with “You see Jamie it may be neither love nor money that gets girls fighting over you. Although either or both are nice to have, it may be safety, security, friendship and things like that which are worth fighting over.”