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Charlie’s Secret

Charlie’s 65th birthday party was a rather subdued affair. Not that Charlie wanted it that way, but his two children, Mark and Ann, insisted he not do anything which could over-excite him. Just his son and daughter, their spouses plus six grandchildren, and his two elderly neighbours who showed up at his home to celebrate the special event. The low point for Charlie was when Ann poured him a small low-strength beer just before he blew out the one candle on the cake.
But it was all his own fault. Charlie had learned this ‘getting old’ thing well and played it like a fiddle. Any time he didn’t want to do something or was invited somewhere he didn’t want to go, he would say he was tired or his joints were aching. That would always get him off the hook. When he went shopping to his local supermarket he always had one of the young shop assistants help him with his trolley and take items from the shelves that Charlie said he couldn’t reach. At the checkout, he would put his hand to his chest and lean against the trolley which never failed to get him promoted straight to the front of the line. Every act he performed and every excuse he made was perfectly plausible given his age so nobody ever questioned him.
Mark and Ann believed all his maladies and wouldn’t let him do the things he actually wanted to do. This was frustrating for him because there was nothing actually wrong with Charlie apart from slowly deteriorating eyesight and hearing normally associated with old age. He had lived alone since being widowed ten years earlier and walked for miles every day. He cooked for himself, cleaned the house, bought himself a computer and learned to use the Internet and managed the gardening and his yard all except for mowing the lawn. He paid a young lad to do that once a month, not because he was physically incapable of doing it himself, but simply because he had always hated mowing.
But now Charlie was 65 and officially on the old age pension. The day after his birthday, Ann drove him to see his doctor for his six-monthly check-up. She wanted to come into the doctor’s office with him but he told her to wait outside.
Doctor Donald Benson had been Charlie’s doctor for fifteen years, as well as a good friend. After their mother died, Ann and Mark visited the good doctor and tried to convince him they should be informed of their father’s condition and be privy to his future medical diagnosis and treatment. When Doctor Benson told Charlie, he was livid.
“Don’t you tell them anything about me!” Charlie warned him. “If you do I’ll have you disbarred or excommunicated or whatever the hell they do to doctors who squeal.”
“Don’t worry Charlie. I can’t tell them anything without your permission, which I take I don’t have.”
“No you don’t!”
In the surgery, the doctor gave Charlie all the usual checks and then asked if he had any complaints or problems. Charlie replied that he felt fine, but then he added, “You know Don, I still get erections; during the night and even sometimes during the day. Is that normal for someone my age?”
The doctor laughed. “Charlie there is no expiry date on your penis. It all depends on your overall health and lifestyle. You are obviously a horny old toad.” He laughed again.
“Well what can I do about it?” Charlie asked seriously. “It gets embarrassing sometimes.”
“Get yourself laid. That’s my advice. Plenty of people would be jealous of you.”
“Don, I haven’t had a woman since … well, for more than a decade. Where am I going to find one who’ll jump in the sack with me?”
“Book yourself on a cruise,” the doctor answered. “There are plenty of ‘Over-50s’ cruises advertised on the Internet. I’ve heard that women outnumber the men twenty to one so even an ugly old coot like you could get lucky.”
“Don, I swear, if you weren’t my doctor I’d …”
In the car on the way home, Charlie told Ann the doctor had given him the all clear. She dropped him off and offered to make him lunch but Charlie declined saying he’d just make a sandwich and watch a movie.
Instead, he switched on his computer and got straight onto the Internet. Don was right; there were many cruises on offer for ‘singles’ over 30, over 50 and even over 60. Most didn’t leave from his town but he could easily catch a plane to meet the ship if necessary.
But while assessing all his options, something else caught his eye. It wasn’t a cruise but it had him surfing the Net for the next four hours to learn more.
Three weeks later, Mark called Ann to tell her he had been trying to call Charlie but the calls just rang out. Ann lived closer to her dad than Mark so, after she also tried calling him several times, she got in her car and drove to Charlie’s home.
Using her spare key to open the front door she noticed the house was in immaculate condition. She called out, “Dad!” as she went in the kitchen. It was spotless, with no dishes in the sink or crumbs on the benches. She noticed the fridge door was ajar and instinctively opened it all the way. To her horror, it was completely empty. Not only that, but the power had been turned off. She switched on the kitchen light and found the power to all the house had been switched off.
Starting to panic, she was reaching for her mobile phone to call her brother when she saw a note sitting in the centre of the dining table. It read: “Ann and Mark. Gone on holiday for a month. Take care. Love Dad.”
She called Mark at work and he said he would come over that evening so they could decide what to do.
When Mark and his family arrived at Ann’s house, she was visibly upset. To her surprise though, Mark was smiling. When she angrily asked why he thought the situation was funny, he asked if she had checked her e-mails yet.
“No. Why?”
“Just get on your computer and check.”
She opened her laptop and logged in to find an e-mail from her father sent that morning. It read: “Taking doctor’s advice I have just arrived in Pattaya, Thailand. I’ll see you in a month. Love Dad.”

 

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Whilst most visitors come to the Land of Smiles to lay on pristine white beaches and enjoy the incredible food and culture, there are others who visit Thailand for a completely different reason.

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Jaybee’s

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Billed as “A Music and Sports Bar with Good Priced Cold Beer”, Jaybee’s is rapidly gaining a reputation as the place to be on the Darkside.

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Hawker Chan Open Their Second Restaurant in Thailand

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So far it’s all been about the cheesy gifts, romantic walks, overpriced dinners and crowded bars. Valentine’s Day is so commercialised that it is now all about luxury, showering each other with expensive presents or cuddling at home with a pizza and a bit of Netflix.

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10 Fishing New Year’s Resolutions

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Happy New Year! We know you have big plans to make 2018 another great fishing year on the little lakes, ponds, and Thai Gulf.Follow these 10 New Year’s fishing resolutions in 2018 to stay focused on the fish at hand and remember why fishing soothes your soul.

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2018 WILL BE A BUMPER YEAR FOR SPORT !

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2018 looks set to be a bumper year for sport with the usual annual set pieces being added to by three major events that come along only every 2 or 4 years.

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Our fishing section has brought you stories of catching fish and methods on how to cool your beer while waiting on the big one to bite….But what about ghostly fishing stories for Xmas? Tales of the sea, pond or riverbank that will have your fishing tackle trembling in your hands…

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The Ashes 2017 / 2018

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Once again the oldest and most competitive cricket series in the world is about to take place, as arch sporting rivals England and Australia come head to head in five test match thrillers.

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Get Your Tackle In, and Tear Those Boys (and Girls) Apart

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Our sporting attention for this month’s article in The Pattaya Trader magazine sees us turning our attention to rugby.

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Whether you have moved to Pattaya on a permanent basis or are just here on vacation and looking for a gym to train at, you should head over to Sport Point Tenerife.

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Course Conditions Promote Big Scores

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Golfers awoke Tuesday morning to light drizzle and grey skies, with the possibility of a wet day of golf. Early tee-off groups of the 106 players including 12 Ladies, may have had to deal with some light rain for a few holes, but from 8:00am on perfect conditions were the order of the day.

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The World Ironman Championship 2017

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Do you know what the World Ironman Championship is all about? Perhaps if you are aware that it is run and organised by the World Triathlon Corporation you might be able to take a better guess.

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In this month of romance with Valentines, hearts and all matters to do with love it’s time we started loving our planet, our oceans and the creatures that live therein.

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OCEAN MARINA PATTAYA BOAT SHOW 2017

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After a week of sudden downpours it was great to enjoy such wonderful weather at the Pattaya Boat show.

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The “DARKSIDE” of fishing

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Like many of earth's creatures, fish are becoming endangered and sport fishing is being re-examined around the world.

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Mother’s Day

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The Perfect Pair: Shards from the Mirror

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Shards from the Mirror is the third and final part of the Perfect Pair trilogy, detailing the often horrific story behind professional dolphin training.

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From the moment you enter the auditorium as you are shown to your seats by friendly smiling uniformed ushers it is impossible not to be swept along with the general air of enthusiasm. The music is rousing, the stage massive and the custom built tracking which provides the technical support for the overhead spectacles, impressive.

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“Pro-Gamer” a term that is becoming better known of late refers to people who play games on the PC or console.

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I have always liked the Pratumnak Hill area and even though there were ominous grey clouds overhead when I last visited there recently it was even more of a treat to go as I was on my way to meet a young lady I had never met before.

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National Elephant Day

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Almost twenty years ago the Thai government declared that the 13th of March should be Chang Thai Day or National Elephant Day. This annual day of celebration was created in order to promote awareness in the conservation of Elephants and to reinforce the act of 1963 by the Royal Forest Department naming the white elephant as the national animal of Thailand.

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In a grim year when far too many talented artists were snatched from us I was saddened to read that “George passed away peacefully at home over the Christmas period.” With the voice of an angel who some may have considered fallen.

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A recent visitor to the Pattaya Trader at Chaiyapruek Towers was Khun Gio from the Take Care Kids Foundation Thailand.

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Red is the colour of Chinese New Year from the lanterns adorning streets, restaurants, shops and houses to the red envelopes given to children by their parents and grandparents.

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The Residences at Dream Pattaya is a private beachfront condominium project located slap bang on the beach at Na Jomtien Pattaya on 10 Rai of absolute beachfront land.

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A VAMPIRE FACIAL !

A VAMPIRE FACIAL !

If one of your new year's resolutions involves looking after yourself or a loved one perhaps with a bit of pampering or a beauty treatment then I would recommend plucking up courage to have a Vampire Facial.

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The History of Making New Year Resolutions

The History of Making New Year Resolutions

Why is it that every January people bore you with their New Year’s resolutions that you know that they are never going to keep to? Ludicrous ideas about eating more vegan salads, not stepping on the cracks in the pavement, or perhaps only going to work when there is a Z in the day.

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NTCC

NTCC

The Athenee Hotel, recently elevated to a Luxury Collection Hotel, in Bangkok – was the venue for the NTCC Innovation Awards.

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Pattaya Personality - Simon Peatfield Retox

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Pattaya Personality this month focuses on one of the most well known names in the Pattaya hospitality business. Simon Peatfield is the man behind the popular Retox sports bar empire as well as other favourite Pattaya leisure institutions.

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BeNeat

BeNeat

The first thing that impressed me about BeNeat was their online booking service which rather reminded me of the Grab Taxi service of which I am also a big fan.

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So what makes Gio Kitchens So Special ?

So what makes Gio Kitchens So Special ?

Gio Home Kitchen began in 2003 although the parent started back in 1981. The parent company produces gas stoves and electrical appliances.

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Protecting Your Most Valuable Assets - School Travel Manager

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A brand new software system has been released, and the Pattaya Trader were the first media partner to be contacted with the hot news.

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MOVEMBER

MOVEMBER

It’s that time of year again and Movember is upon us. Movember is the annual event which involves the growing of a moustache during the month of November.

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Pattaya Personality – Candyland

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If you are a frequent visitor to Thepprasit Road, then you might have noticed one of the most popular residents has been dispensing the finest candy for the last four years.

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MEDICAL INSURANCE 3

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When people come and live in Thailand one of the things that is often neglected is medical insurance. In their home country they are so used to rolling up at their doctor or hospital and not having to pay anything out of their own pocket

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MEDICAL INSURANCE

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When people come and live in Thailand one of the things that is often neglected is medical insurance. In their home country they are so used to rolling up at their doctor or hospital and not having to pay anything out of their own pocket

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Back to the roots.

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A look at why traditional models of finance are increasingly inadequate at explaining stock market movement and why the fledgling discipline of behavioural finance may hold some of the answers.

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Beware the scam artist brokers in Thailand.

Beware the scam artist brokers in Thailand.

For many years I have been an advocate of using a locally based offshore adviser who has roots here, and has been living here for at least a decade, owns property here, has a Thai wife or partner and who has committed his future to living here.

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Pattaya continues to be rebranded.

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The Thai Tourism Minister, Kobkarn Wattanavrangkul, plans another rebranding exercise for Pattaya and four other destinations, with the aim of making it widely known that Pattaya is a family friendly quality beach resort as opposed to one known for its nightlife.

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Growth rate in Thailand

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Thailand's economic growth rate is likely to be less than one per cent for 2014, while the 2015 target of four percent looks increasingly difficult to attain, due to a weak global economy according to Kasikorn Research Center. The think tank's managing director, Charl Kengchon, said, "What we are most concerned about is next year's growth figure since 4% is challenging and it is still uncertain whether we can achieve that growth rate."

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Bringing money in to Thailand to buy a property

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When buying a property in Thailand, one of the stipulations is that you will need to bring the money in from overseas. There are plenty of ways to do this but getting the best rate is key. Since you will bring in a large mount of money for the purchase of a property, every percentage point of exchange rate change will cost or save you a good deal of money

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Business news in brief

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Due to an improving economic recovery that will undoubtedly spur spending, Thailand's household debt is expected to rise next year and possibly for the next few years. Credit card use will be one of the factors behind the expected increase according Kasikorn Research Center (KResearch).

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GrabTaxi Beta Launch in Pattaya at the Royal Marina Pattaya

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With the motto “Safety Speed and Certainty” GrabTaxi plans to organize the taxi service in Pattaya for the better of both passengers and drivers. Pattaya Trader Magazine was there to cover the Beta Launch of the mobile app, which was held at the Royal Marina Pattaya on September 17

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Investing in Oil and the Energy Markets

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Dealing in oil and energy markets may seem like an unusual investment to make, but oil is a commodity that tends to have fairly volatile prices and, as compared with precious metals, has a much more direct-use feature about it. It is a necessity for all car owners, airlines, and for a large part of the industrialised world. Unlike gold or silver, for example, that are bought to hold or to be admired for their ornamental qualities, oil is most commonly bought, in the end, to be burned!

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Baht goes down and the Baht goes up

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I well remember when the Baht collapsed in the late nineties. One week I was getting 35 baht for every pound sterling I proffered to the bank. The following week I was getting 70.

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LETTERS FROM READERS

LETTERS FROM READERS

Hi Pattaya Trader – Thank you for an always very interesting read. Is there any way you could publish this – I would dearly like to help the Mabprachan Animal shelter – I know they are not the only ones looking after stay and abandoned animals, but they have my undying gratitude for the way they helped me Yours very sincerely, Rick Walton Soi 11 Thappraya Road Jomtien 0892 465 210

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How to achieve 2018 interior design trends

How to achieve 2018 interior design trends

An increasing number of developers are kitting out their new condominiums with modern interior design trends. There is a move away from plain white walls and simple interiors.

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INTERIOR DESIGN COLOUR TRENDS FOR 2018

INTERIOR DESIGN COLOUR TRENDS FOR 2018

Black Flame has also been proclaimed the Colour of the Year for 2018 being more of a Charcoal, Mat Grey in my opinion – but you get the idea. Used sparingly as a highlight wall colour or on accessories it can give a edgier feel to your décor.

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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS DÉCOR

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS DÉCOR

When living in “The Tropics” it may seem a little unseasonal to do the whole “Christmas-at-Home-Decorations” thing.

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5 lighting ideas for your home

5 lighting ideas for your home

Light up your home with these different styles of lighting to complete your interior style.

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Tangaro

Tangaro

Tangaro is the home of beautiful bespoke furniture. Tangaro is a furniture manufacturer with a simple concept, to deliver quality furniture on time at a value for money price.

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“The Best Camera is the one you have with you!” the saying goes!

“The Best Camera is the one you have with you!” the saying goes! That is very true but let's take a look at another scenario: images for a condo advert etc.

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Ten tips to keep your home secure

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CCTV is an increasingly popular security feature, both inside and outside our homes. Externally it can be an effective visual deterrent for opportunist thieves on the lookout for empty homes and a useful way of checking that all is well at home.

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How Secure Is Your Dwelling?

How Secure Is Your Dwelling?

Modern condominium developments have excellent building security, normally with a manned foyer and twenty four hour security guards. Entrances to units is often keyless by using a fob type smart card and communal areas are constantly monitored by CCTV.

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Five important things to know before buying or building a swimming pool at your house in Thailand

Five important things to know before buying or building a swimming pool at your house in Thailand

Thailand is one of the top countries in the world where expats go to find an easier, more fulfilling life. One of these reasons is the tropical climate, which enables constant outdoor relaxation that’s simply not possible in many other parts of the world.

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TRENDS FOR BEDROOMS IN 2017

TRENDS FOR BEDROOMS IN 2017

More and more the master bedroom is seen not just a place to sleep but almost a home within a home. An all-in-one space where you can enjoy a calm,serene retreat.

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TRENDS FOR BATHROOMS IN 2017

TRENDS FOR BATHROOMS IN 2017

Bathroom designers tell us that 2017 is going to be marked by the return to the organic and all-natural. Bathroom style”s direction will be: super clean colours, seamless lines and useful, simple arrangement of space with the dash of natural coziness and elegance.

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TRENDS FOR 2017

TRENDS FOR 2017

This is the cheery shade of green you'll see in home decor, fashion and commercial design in 2017. Named the 2017 Pantone Colour of the year "Greenery" is meant to represent refreshment and revitalization.

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Beachfront Launch Party at The Residences Dream, Pattaya

Beachfront Launch Party at The Residences Dream, Pattaya

Located in Soi 4 Na Jomtien Eric Lai Frank Satarand and their team hosted an excellent evening of entertainment buffet and free flow Guests were also invited to view the Luxury Beach Condominium of their dreams!

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Managing Your Online Reputation

Managing Your Online Reputation

It's fair to say that more business than ever is conducted online. People use Google and the other search engines as a matter of course.

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Off-plan condos VS re-sales and pre-owned apartments

Off-plan condos VS re-sales and pre-owned apartments

The Property market in Pattaya has always been driven by new developments, with off-plan and under construction condos offering payment terms over the period of time of construction.

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Copacabana Beach Jomtien held a great Pre Launch Party

Copacabana Beach Jomtien held a great Pre Launch Party

Copacabana Beach Jomtien held a great Pre Launch Party

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Pattaya Market 2017 Overview

Pattaya Market 2017 Overview

In my opinion, this year was very important for the Pattaya Property Market. As a property practitioner and certified specialist, working here since 2008, I have seen many ups and downs in the market.

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How does your business fare in China?

How does your business fare in China?

With Chinese New Year nearly upon us on the 16th February I wonder how many look up their fortune and see how their animal horoscope will fare in the year of the dog ?

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The (Ever) Changing Face of SEO in 2018

The (Ever) Changing Face of SEO in 2018

The digital landscape moves at a frantic pace. Stand still and you are likely to be overtaken by others that…. Aren’t!

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The Day AFTER Pattaya Real Estate Prices Bottomed

The Day AFTER Pattaya Real Estate Prices Bottomed

As a Certified International Property Specialist with my own real estate business it would seem that I am locked into the position of always maintaining a positive outlook on the real estate markets in which I work.

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Mentoring – A concept worth implementing

Mentoring – A concept worth implementing

Mentoring is a voluntary process where a generally more experienced person helps another prepare for future growth by advising on developing relevant skillsets.

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Marketing Wrap Up - 2017 - Driving More Online Business

Marketing Wrap Up - 2017 - Driving More Online Business

As we reach the end of the year it is time to review some of the key points that we looked at throughout 2017. Those who have read this regular feature will recall that we have covered a variety of topics aimed at driving more new business your way. In this article we will recap on the main areas and (attempt to) reinforce the benefits of marketing in this way.

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Huntsman IndiaThai Co., Ltd

Huntsman IndiaThai Co., Ltd

Huntsman IndiaThai Co., Ltd is a name which many people trust in regards to Property/Business Management in Pattaya.

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Bright Ideas for Retargeting your Website Visitors

Bright Ideas for Retargeting your Website Visitors

Retargeting isn’t new. It’s been around for a few years now; however, I am always surprised that more business owners don’t take advantage of this power advertising mechanism.

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